Motivate others!! Motivate yourself!
Motivation is a funny thing and in my experience can come from many places and as a result of various experiences.
The kid that gets bullied who joins a gym to get huge so no one wants to pick on him/her again.
The person who gets diagnosed with cancer and finally makes peace with estranged family members.
The person who's lived a life of just going through the motions of existence until someone they love is tragically killed in a accident, realizing all our days are numbered, from that day forward they never waste a day.
I have a few moments that I clearly remember and often reflect on.
When I was battling drug and alcohol addiction, going to sleep with a broken hand, metacarpal bone protruding from my skin, and seeing fear in my kids eyes, cos the person they looked up to for support and protection had lost control, this moment motivated me to get clean and I've been sober ever since, 17 years now.
The day I saw my reflection in a shop window and finally had the honesty to admit my body was no longer my own, I had stood by and done nothing while my weight blew out to 147kg! This realization made me take control back, I was motivated to get my body back and it was hard and took years but I lost 63kg and at 84kg I completed a triathlon and two weeks later a half marathon! I felt strong and fit, and was annoyingly positive on Facebook!
After my L4-5 disc prolapse I plunged back into depression, Having been an addict before I hated that I was relying on prescribed medication (21+ pills daily) in order to function even at the hopelessly low level that I was. Here was this guy that had beaten addiction, beaten obesity and become a personal trainer, proud, fit, and ready to get after the next challenge, finally for the first time in my life I was proud of MYSELF! I felt as though it had all been taken away, I was crushed, it really was soul destroying.
During this time of darkness I gained 30kg. It took 11 months to finally get the surgery I needed but by then I was a mentally broken man, I tried really hard to exude positivity, but inside I was totally defeated and had really got to the point I was ready to give up, I had stopped living and started existing again.
I had some glimmer of hope along the way, Broni McSweeny who was one of my lecturers from uni flew my wife and I to Christchurch where I spoke at a workshop hosted by her and Active Cantebury about being a trainer and working with obese and deconditioned clients, I felt I had an understanding of the topic and really dug into my emotions to get my points across, it was amazingly received and I left feeling great, like I had something important to offer the fitness industry that I loved and with every cell in my body wanted to be a part of, I felt motivated again.
No sooner had we arrived home, my own mind got in my way and the song of negative thought patterns and self talk crept back in and I hit repeat.
Surgery was a success but recovery was very slow and while I was trying to find the fire again, trying desperately to get pumped about life again, I had gone an created a culture of defeat, I had made a home in failure.
I just went through the motions of rehab, I turned up and did what I was told but never really committed all in. I really think I felt that this was my lot and didn't deserve anything else and because of my attitude and negative mindset, I believe that's the reason my recovery wasn't going as well as it could have, there's a close relationship between mind and body, if the mind is in a negative space the body will never perform at an optimal level and this can be in elite sport, injury rehabilitation or life in general, ever heard someone say "you can talk yourself into being sick!" I believe in the power of that connection.
The turning point for me came when I had the honour of spending the weekend with Richie Patterson, learning the fundamentals of Olympic weightlifting, I had admired Richie's achievements as a 3 x Commonwealth Games and 3 x Olympic Games athlete so spending time with him in a gym environment is something I'll reflect on for the rest of my life and I think he's probably oblivious to the gravity of the experience.
He had structured the weekend like this, day one was dedicated to learning Snatch technique and the second day to the Clean and Jerk. Because I was still (and still am!) really in recovery I had mentioned to him that I may take myself out of some practical parts of the day and observe and he often took time to be sure I was ok before introducing anything new, but on the other hand I'd never done these lifts before so the Personal Trainer in my was screaming "LETS TRAIN!"
I was fascinated watching him demo some lifts so we could see what they were supposed to look like and the speed at which he moved the weight was something to behold and aspire to, but what truly had a deep lasting effect was from him a simple comment, we were having a candid discussion about my injury and I was pretty honest about how I was feeling mentally, he said, "for a guy whose just had spinal surgery and never done these lifts before, you move exceptionally well, take the time to heal and recover fully, build on the techniques you've learned here and you'll be a really good lifter, and call in anytime your down and say hi or come lift some weight..."
Here's a guy who, when I met him, I had to restrain my inner Fan Boy saying that he believed in me and what I was capable of, so why did I not believe in myself? I've never felt more motivated!!
My next rehab session with Jill (one of my physios/trainer) I walked in 30mins early, with clear intent and got to work, she asked at the end of the session what had changed cos it was instantly noticeable, I explained the weekend I'd had and that I finally had the belief that had been lacking, turns out she'd had that belief in me too, I'd been the only one without it.
Since then, I've been powering forward, rehab is going well and I'm feeling strong. Turns out the motivation was already there, it was the belief that was missing.
Sometimes you need to step outside yourself, and look back through the eyes of someone you respect and see what they see, how differently do you see yourself?
Also, what motivates you today may not motivate you tomorrow so it's imperative that we are always learning and growing in our lives so that we never stop making use of the time we have.
Never hold onto anything too tightly because in doing so you don't allow yourself to experience other things but also everything changes, if you have a vice grip on this one thing, if or when you lose it, you'll feel you have nothing and that's a difficult place to be.
Lastly, motivation comes from finding something that is meaningful to you, believing you are worthy and capable and then committing to it, taking small steps every day to realize that dream or vision. If you hit an obstacle or speed bump, take a moment to reassess, even step back if you need to, figure out what step you need to take next, sometimes it can be in a different direction and that's ok. As long as the goal is still meaningful, don't give up, when you give up on something that's meaningful to you, that's the only time you fail.
You are more powerful than you know.
Go explore your awesome.
Stefan
